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| The Oshinaikes |
How did you meet your wife?
Toyin: We met a few years ago when I was looking for an actor to play a role in one of our productions. A friend who recommended that she played the role took me to her house because I needed to convince her about it. She eventually agreed to play role and I was the director of the production. We worked together on a couple of other productions as well.
Were your first impressions of her positive?
Toyin: When we got to the house, we were told she went to fetch water. I saw her carrying a bucket of water on her permed hair and her legs were dirty. Judging from her appearance, she did not strike me as someone that could speak English, but I was amazed when I heard her speak. I am not one who easily falls in love even though I had dated some ladies in the past. Growing up, I knew I always wanted to have a beautiful family. I was raised in a broken home and as such, did not know what love meant. I did not plan to fall in love.
How did your husband propose to you?
Tope: He used to be my director while I was a freelance actor. We went to rehearse at Tarkwa Bay and while we were on a recess at night, he asked me to look up at the sky and notice how the moon romanced the sea. He simply told me he was not searching for a girlfriend but wanted a wife. I did not expect him to propose when he did. It might have seemed quite radical but I think it was a divine connection.
Did any of your family members oppose your decision to get married?
Tope: Not at all. Surprisingly, when I introduced him to my family, they accepted him immediately, probably because of his work and discipline. Before my dad passed away, he used to call him Omega, while he called my brother-in-law, Alpha. My father adored my husband.
What were some of the challenges you encountered in the early stages of your marriage?
Tope: One of the major challenges was his constant absence from home due to the nature of his job. I ensured I followed him to camps at every opportunity I got. But I was not really worried most of the time because I knew he would bring back some money when he returned. It was not an unpleasant experience and I was patient.
How has being raised in a broken home affected your marriage?
Toyin: I was not hated upon while growing up, but I never really felt the kind of love I saw in my friends’ homes. I never knew a mother’s love and my relationship with my stepmother was just cordial. I do not want my children to feel that way and I am happy that my family is not like the one I grew up in. I treat them the way I wished I was treated. One good thing I took away from my childhood was the fact that I always emerged tops in my class because I was scared of my father. My experiences opened my eyes and heart to love and I am sure my father would be happy with me wherever he is.
How would you describe the experience of being married to your husband?
Tope: Marriage is not a bed of roses, but with Toyin Oshinaike, it has been adventurous. We have had some challenges but we did not let them affect our marriage. It has been fruitful and I look forward to more years with him. He is my friend and a good lover although he has his own issues. He is not dishonest or selfish.
Tope: When we initially got married, he did not exhibit that side of him. He was that same director that always shouted on people. But he is romantic and possessive in a positive way.
How have you coped with his schedules?
Tope: We cope just fine. I am also quite busy and when I am not working, I stay with the children. He spends time with us when he is free.
How do you assure your wife of your fidelity?
Toyin: I have never quarrelled with my wife concerning that. I do not know how she developed faith in me.
What does your spouse do to get you angry sometimes?
Toyin: Some of them are selfish little acts and do not really cause any trouble or misunderstanding. I have learnt not to disturb her when she wants to sleep.
Tope: My husband likes to dwell on issues. Sometimes, he does that for a whole day to ensure that whatever message he wants to pass across sinks in.
Who is the first to apologise after a misunderstanding?
Toyin: My wife is quick to apologise, sometimes, only after I have pointed out a wrong she did. I also apologise to her.
Do you have access to each other’s phones and social media accounts?
Tope: We operate an open policy at home. Although, I do not check his phones or social media accounts, I know his passwords. Most of his friends are my friends and there is nothing to worry about.
How do you spend time as a couple?
Toyin: We take some time out to relax somewhere away from home. Sometimes, when I have a movie to shoot, we go together but we have not done that in a long while.
What is the secret of your successful marriage?
Tope: Prayer and consistency have been helpful. We have belief in the same God and we love ourselves. Sometimes, we cannot really identify why we love ourselves.
How often does he assist with home chores?
Tope: He could be lazy at times and at other times, he could prove useful. The only food he cooks is noodles and egg. He does not overlabour me with trivial domestic chores; he helps when the need arises.
What would be your advice to celebrities’ spouses?
Tope: They should always confide in their partners, be friends with them, make them their only lover and stay focused.
What advice do you have for intending couples?
Toyin: Marriage is all about love respect and regard. If you are married to someone then you must regard and respect the person. People no longer declare their love because of fear, but when you love someone the fear will disappear. That is the only way they can enjoy their marriage.
What pet names do you call each other?
Tope: He calls me Topsy or Ade ori mi. I actually have a lot of pet names depending on my mood. Sometimes, I call him Magula while he calls me Gula Gula.
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